June 22, 2005

crime and punishment

this has been the week of unprovoked attacks

was called a camel
speculation was rife as to whether i was a genetic mutation or not
and there's a rumour that i drove my car into an office vehicle

mee lard, yeh sarasar jhooth hai!
pandemonium in court.
old man in scratchy wig: aarder aarder!
chashmadeed gavahon ke bayaan ko sunkar yeh adaalat faisla kartee hai ki mulzim f.y. cannibal ko baizzat bali bheja jai.

as sting almost sang- you'll remember me, when the west wind moves, upon the fields of bali

since i'm in the dock, i confess that i am guilty of assuming that madonna sang
"last night i dreamt of some beggar", in la isla bonita.
got quite hot and bothered about that.
not objecting to her singing about the beggar, but at least dignify him by caling him "the" beggar, or "my" beggar.
careful relistening proved that apparently she was dreaming of san pedro.

off to push the arab outta his tent.

4 comments:

The Arab said...

The slings and arrows of blogging fortunes... The 'camel' was an [contrite expression starts]honest mistake sir, I didn't know what the rules were [contrite expression ends]. I once tried this contrite expression business with a magistrate at a certain courthouse which will remain unnamed, when I had to appear for a show cause hearing, because I was driving a car in an unnamed university town which was...etc.

Didn't work. He (magistr.) issued criminal proceedings, and I ended up in a certain unnamed county courthouse in a suit, along with some shackled gentlemen. Nevertheless, [contrite expression starts]I didn't know the rules, ma'am[contrite expression ends].

As compensation, one reveals all. Someone once posted in a large mailing list, the following: "Hey guys, who is that Cama Cama Cama Cama Camellia" song by?

Much later, a kind soul pointed to "Karma Chameleon". There, you have it all.

witness aarti said...

but, but, I thought it was fields of barley...
and I thought it was "some beggar" too. Maybe we even sang it together that way. There's 12 year old cultural sophistication for you.
Camels I think, have pretty strong characters, one may be almost proud, under the right circumstances, to be called a camel. Kind of like the 'stubborn as a mule' thing, I've never quite figured out whether thats a compliment or not. But a genetically mutilated camel... thats a whole different story, mee lard.

the witness again said...

Now don't complain you've been called "lard" too.

Orcaella brevirostris said...

stubborn sounds negative. but the whole donkey-gadha pejurative meaning doesnt seem to be universal. the democratic party does have the donkey as their symbol.

so all i have to do is go to a place where being camelesque is good.

'sides, camels have long eyelashes-to keep out the sand and to bat at passing beduins.