the worst way to start a post

is with the words-
"you know what i REALLY hate about.."
it's whiney.
and boring.

and it's usually followed by "now don't get me wrong. i'm as tolerant as the next girl. but when it comes to.. "

be that as it may.

you know what i REALLY hate about going to a public bathroom? it's having people constantly turn the handle to try to get in. repeatedly. as if they expect that the inmate will have slipped through a warp in the space time continuum. and the bathroom will be theirs. forever. muahahaha.

now don't get me wrong. i'm as tolerant as the next intolerant girl. bathroom emergencies happen. they are a part of life. universal. verily hath the poet said:

breathes there a man with soul so dead
who never to himself hath said
..
the rest of the pome is not about bathroom emergencies. but you do see where i'm going with this?

so if it 'twere a b. emerg. say so! pound on the door! shout it out! we will evacuate the building.

but (and this is where it gets cunning) this happened to me in a gym bathroom. there's only one of them and it's primarily for clothes-changing. there are a myriad normal bathrooms right outside the gym. they're flushing themselves while waiting for your patronage.

so it's sheer impatience, innit? and the bathroom door handle jiggler, once done with the gym, no doubt gets behind the wheel and in traffic at a signal, with no traffic moving, unbuckles the seatbelt. gets up. and SITS on the horn. awaiting more sp. t. cont. warps.

what to do with such a person?

and what to do with the blogger who complains so much?

bastinadoes. and blueberry muffince respectively.