March 22, 2007

Isle beyond the TIP

"UOMINI and Donne. That’s all the signs on the door said- “Uomini” on one door, “Donne” on the other. A little context... I was traveling with my brother to the Sicilian town of Taormina. Chilled to the bone from a dip in the Ionian sea in October, I needed to use a bathroom. Prontissimo. The bathroom doors, however, didn’t have the universal pictorial label of the figure in the dress with narrow waist and broad hips to guide me. With just Uomini and Donne to work with, it was hard to tell. Don Corleone, many Dons gathering- Donne Corleone and Umbrizzi, I thought. And Uomini sounded female. With such irrefutable logic, and pressure on the bladder increasing, I was about to storm into Uomini, when I remembered Giuseppe Verdi’s La Donna e mobile”, the aria to women’s inconsistency. One fickle Donna, many capricious Donnes? I was stumped. ...."

To read it in all it's glory, go to
Select The Economic Times, Delhi edition.
Use your indiatimes login* and password to login in.
Click on ET Travel and read Isle beyond the TIP

If lazier, go to the html, picture-less version. but you'll regret it..

some reader reactions so far:
"ooh, look at it's an article by Ira Athale on travelling in eastern sicily! mm, i must get myself 3 of those babies"
and also
"hand me my lupari, guiseppe!"

*If you don't have an indiatimes login and password, create one at Then retrace the steps above, leaving out no detail, however unimportant.


Ludwig said...

pronto. bellyseema (sibling hurls sharp pointed thing). the piece is very evocative. it is at the moment mainly evoking hunger spasms. there's a bakeria downstairso to whicho muo pronto descendo. schwarzwoldo imbibo, volvo.

there's spelling mistaks in the online no-pics version. for example, a mysterious, tantalizing "Strangel" is to be found. it prompts the layperson to ask, "what would she have said next? strangely? strangelove? strangelschwitzenbengerfuehgel?" and so on. most missterious. ToI group continues to set high standards of journalism.

on the whole, we're proud of you. and you can buy us the iPhone with the money you earned with this.

xlhtaokj: Albanian secret society formed for the deification of Enver Xhoxhsa. The name of the society is also the password to their meetings (which are usually held in treehouses and notable for their consumption of jam, tarts and crumpets). Trespassers who are unable to pronounce the password are tied tightly to the nearest available Albanian goat (a most remarkable specie) and are gently deposited in the Aegean. the goats are ferocious swimmers and carcasses have been found as far afield as Taormina. where unsuspecting nuclear physicists and South Asian siblings are often found gazing at the bleached bones from the clifftop and declaiming in perfect Italian, "Muo Dio! Ella bakra ce perverto tiedo..."

Orcaella brevirostris said...

ludwig: sick transit gloria mundi!
you have been hoist by your own petard (ouch).

"there's spelling mistaks in the online no-pics version."

let us dissect the statement. hand me the scalpel, forceps and string for tickling the ears.

"there's" = there is, implying the singular
"mistaks"= plural.
there is mistaks?

while we're on the subject, what is a mistak?

any more bad italiano out of you, and we'll have to launch you and the pastries clutched in your warm pudgy hands, into the land of luparis.

"from my warm, pudgy hands" said charlton heston in another context

Ludwig said...

you give your wet flippers a rest, and be writing more.

towlhc: What The Drunk Towel Said

Orcaella brevirostris said...

patience, ludw. pox wittg.