May 16, 2006

hapoos! how to eat an alphonso

take one hot summer day
get yourself to pune
stroll over to deccan gymkhana, the market. not the gym.
waddle past chitale bandhu, till you reach ingale bandhu.
remind yourself how you thought bandhu was a surname, and how you wished you were a bandhu, cos then chitale and ingale would ply you with pedhas and mangoes all day.
explain to passing chunnu that ingale doesn't rhyme with single. and pimpalgaon is a village of peepul trees. not zits.
gaze about the ingale shop
cluck at the sight of straw baskets
watch while a minion removes a precious yellow object from the straw and holds it aloft, glittering.
see the rosy blush atop the mango
go to heaven
return to earth
continue heaven n earth perambulations
stop peramb.
inspect each mango in a basket
then buy a tokri of devgarh che alphonso
and a dozen payri
transport them home and brood over them

repeat for a few days

make aamras out of payri
eat remaining mango pulp on skin and koy
watch koy slide out of hands, arc lazily through the air, slide down (white) clothes and onto floor
chase slippery koy around kitchen floor
retire abashed

emerge in clean close for lunch
warm fluffy phulkas and ghee
use remainder for milkshake
use remainder for icecream

let a few days pass

place warm ripened alphonsoes in fridge
place warm irritable chillun of the house in bibs
remove mangoes from fridge and place before chillun
watch them fall silent (the chillun, not the mangoes)
slice them correctly (mangoes, not chillun) to ensure that everyone gets large slice, side slice and koy
(description of deep golden colour of flesh, firm yet tender, aroma, teeth sinking in, intense flavour, a little juice dribbling down chin and other food porn)

other honourable mentionce- langda, banganapalli and dussehri; panha from kayris, amba burfi* (i can't believe i forgot this one) granma's mango pickle, amrakhand*, murabba, aam papri, mango mojitos.

step away from the totapuri and no one will get hurt.

*from chitale


kunal said...

i have been reading your blogs for quite some time now and all i can say is 'bravo'. keep blogging.

Orcaella brevirostris said...

thanks for kind words, karan. you keep blogging too.

Nandan said...

Whoa...too many childhood memories (though none with Pune...all Mumbai for me )..Wonderful post. Almost as good as the mangoes.Are you gonna write a book sometime? With short sentences? Buyers ready.

Orcaella brevirostris said...

nandan: you also thought bandhu was a surname?

you're right though, this was a total childhood summer holidays inspired post.

haven't actaully had a single ratnagiri/ devgarh alphonso yet.

and, to be completely and utterly honest, one prefers aamras poli mit tup to sliced mango.
i've said it.

merci du compliment for the other stuff. the great indian novel is part of the life plan.
sentences. will be shot.

@#$% said...

when r u inviting me for the amras treat ?..miss it a lot ..infact alphanso.. from deccan gymkhana and shivajinagar were the best.. though got some bad once .. i am always in trouble when selecting.. and left always at the mercy of the vendor. . :( ..

From outside they may smell like heaven .. hiding the rotten part.

Orcaella brevirostris said...

@#!: seeing as how i don't know who you are.. and that i rely on the family elders to make the aamras, while i sit with bib and empty plate, no aamras party happening.

yes, selection is a problem. hence the need for trustworthy vendors, who one has been patronising for 3 generations.

(a row of orcaella brev.s of different ages nodding and sighing patronisingly at an ingale b.)

anyway- life is like a tokri of mangoes, you never know what you're gonna get.

Nandan said...

Well, I did not think Bandhu was a surname...not too many bandhus carrying out sustenance in Mumbai. Neither explaining things to passing chunnus. But koy coyness very much true...and we wore those white ganjees. The stains would smell of mangoes bygone even after Ariel had done its (dirty?) work.
Aamras poli for me too..the only irritating thing about the bare hand to mouth eating stuff was the fibres lodged in the teeth. And Ariel again could not have done anything to those fibres there...(hmmm..could it have?)

Orcaella brevirostris said...

herr nilekani: fibres in teeth can result from
1) pork
2) mutton
3) plums
4) mangoes
5) other stuff
its a small price to pay. and better than getting toffees stuck to your molars, i think.

so eat and floss. floss and eat.
don't eat floss, or floss ill fuels.

Nandan said...

Hi Gene!
Thanks for the tips, Frau Ira...

@#$% said...

no aamras party .. thats very sad.. ( party name is good. .can use for one of mine ..
"the aamras part".. ) :)) .. brings water to mouth with the name itself ..
hope to put up a aamras party soon..
can anyone guide me to a good places for good mangoes in bangalore ?

staying away from mom ( for work ... )has taught me to trust myself.&.restaurants..though the latter can sometimes be damaging .. ;)..

Anonymous said...
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Monsieur K said...

ur blog makes a fascinating read.

was reminded of the good ol' days of childhood - aamras-puri, haapus aambaa, et al

here's another blog in marathi, posted on "aambaa" -

Monsieur K said...

ur blog makes a fascinating read.

was reminded of the good ol' days of childhood - aamras-puri, haapus aambaa, et al

here's another blog in marathi, posted on "aambaa" -

Anonymous said...

Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.

Kag said...

Cool blog!
Take care,